Curtis & His Watchful Eye

Posted on 03. Mar, 2010 by in Memories, mischief, Uncategorized

Curtis had a knack for a lot of different things. Some good, some not so good – like traffic violations =).

The knack that interests me today though is his watchful eye – is because, somehow, I still think it’s around.

Some 2 and a half years ago I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and managed to drag Curtis into it (for once I was getting us into trouble, and Mr. Noll wasn’t around to save us!).  It’s a tale for another day, but for relevancy’s sake let’s say that my past caught up with me today to at least some degree.

That “catching up” required my immediate attention, via phone and at UCF Campus. I wasn’t worried or stressed however, unlike my history with this specific incident. In fact, I felt “pumped”. I was FED UP dealing with something as utterly ridiculous and ancient as this.

What I felt, and the way I behaved, was assertive.

And I have to wonder, how much of that is due to

  1. Hanging out with Curtis (who was incredibly assertive)
  2. The fact that this “incident” had a lot to do with Curtis

After dealing with a few phone conversations I ventured off to UCF Legal Services. Upon arriving I met this girl who was in the waiting area. We began talking, and I soon found out her brother had died in December of 2009 – hit by a car in his wheelchair no less.

I could immediately tell she was uncomfortable talking about it, so I didn’t pry for any more information. She then asked why I was in the office, and I told her – for the next 20 minutes.

From A-Z, what had happened, Curtis’s involvement, and eventual death. Strangely, it was the first time I could remember where I had spoken about Curtis, vividly, and wasn’t choked up about it.

In fact I was strangely calm, and clear.

And you know what? From what I could see, it cheered her up. For what reason, I’ll never know for sure. My hunch however is that she knew that I could relate to the passing of her brother just ~2 months ago.

Under that same light, she could see that I was no longer uncomfortable talking about Curtis. Sure, it’s a touchy subject, and I certainly feel sorrow when speaking about him – but it’s a total 180 from her situation.

Me in her situation? (time wise).

I was depressed to the Nth degree inside. For weeks, months on end, I felt sad, weird, and what have you inside. Name the feeling that makes you want to choke up and start crying (or indeed, causes such action), and I felt it – as I’m sure she does just weeks after her brother’s brutal death.

Anyway, I had to wait another 30 minutes while she was with my legal counsel drawing up her will. During that time, I had to wonder, how much did Curtis influence what just happened?

Indirectly through the memories and impressions he left behind, or even directly?

I’m not especially superstitious or even religious for that matter – but to see a sibling left behind go from the brink of tears, to nearly laughing at some of the things I said about what Curtis and I did, nearly 2.5 years ago?

That’s an impressive legacy to say the least on Curtis’s part.

And hey, it looks like everything is going to turn out alright after all this time. Watchful eye indeed.



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